You arrive at the doctor’s office and ask for a Viagra prescription. The nurse hands you a piece of paper with a scrawled signature and an absurdly high dosage on it. You read the dosage and, as you often do with medications you’re not familiar with, decide to ask a question. You ask the doctor how high the dosage can go without causing problems. The doctor tells you that it’s perfectly safe for a single male and suggests you take it as soon as possible. You leave the office, happy to have received such great news about what you consider to be a harmless drug. You take the pill and get back to your usual routine. A few hours later, you’re driving down the highway when you see an old man walking along the road. You slow down a bit and watch as he shuffles closer to you. You’re about to help the old man when he says, “Hey, thanks a lot! That was a great bit of advice you gave me about Viagra!” You’re startled for a moment, but then you smile and say, “No problem. It was my pleasure.” Then you continue on your way. A few days later, you see the old man again. This time, you’re driving fast and furiously on the freeway. You look over at him and wave, but you don’t stop. A few minutes later, he’s walking towards you again. You think to yourself, “What is this, some kind of joke? Is he trying to trick me or something?” You smile and gesture for him to come over. The old man looks at you strangely and then asks, “Is there something I can help you with?” You tell him that you’re okay and that he can go home now. As he starts to walk away, he calls after you, “Wait, how much does this cost?” You laugh and say, “Well, pal, it was my pleasure.” But the old man doesn’t seem to find the joke funny and keeps asking questions.

The Cost Of Living In A Place Like Manhattan

You move to Manhattan and start working for a large corporation as an office manager. In the beginning, the commute to work is terrible. There’s always traffic and you have to get a few drinks at a red light just to make it to your destination. One day, you see a pretty woman walking towards you in the opposite lane. As she gets closer, you notice that her dress is very short and she’s wearing no bra. You’re about to smile and wave when she says, “Excuse me, is this the way to Fort Lauderdale?” You tell her that it is indeed the way to Florida and that she can save 20 minutes by taking the bus. She thanks you and then turns to go back the way she came. A few minutes later, the same woman walks towards you again. This time, she’s frowning and muttering to herself. She points to the coffee cart on the corner and says, “Cappuccino, black, and sugar free. What’s your pleasure?” You tell her that you’ll take a cup, but she puts the cup down on the counter and, as she’s fumbling with the zipper on her skirt, says, “Oh, I think I’m gonna need something stronger than that.” As she comes towards you, the skirt rises and she exposes her knees, which are filthy and covered in dried blood. You look at her and then back at the coffee cart. You tell her that she can get whatever she wants and then hurry back to your desk. A few minutes later, the same woman walks towards you again. She’s obviously drunk and muttering to herself. She points to your coffee mug and then to her own, which is filled with vomit. You tell her that she can have the coffee mug, but she throws up in it anyway. You apologize and she starts laughing. She tells you that the mug is full of her grandmother’s ashes and then throws up again. You feel nauseous and then angry. You tell her that you want her to go home and that you don’t want to see her any more. She laughs and tells you that she can’t go home because her car is blocked by snow. You reach into your own pocket and pull out some change. You tell her that you’ve got exactly 15 dollars and that’s it. She starts laughing and then starts telling you about the time she did this on purpose just to piss off her boyfriend. You tell her that you don’t want to hear about it and then she storms off. You shake your head and wonder if this is hell.

How Much Does A Drink Cost?

You walk into a bar and see a man sitting at the bar. You ask him what he would like and he says, “Whiskey, neat, and not warm.” You bring him the whiskey, neat, and not warm and then walk away. A few minutes later, you see the same man sitting at the bar again. This time, he’s also drinking beer and you wonder if he’s been there the whole time. You go to the bar and ask him if he’s been there the whole time. He replies, “Yeah, I’ve been here the whole time. Why do you ask?” You tell him that you thought he was drinking beer and he smiles and sits back, raising his pint of beer in a mock toast, and says “Cheers!” You tell him that you thought his name was Jeff and he laughs. You ask him if he’s seen any movies recently and he starts raving about the amazing Netflix¬†series, The Handmaid’s Tale. You tell him that you haven’t had much luck with Netflix shows and he starts laughing. You get into an argument about whether or not Tyrant is any good. He doesn’t seem to have a strong opinion about it and you decide to leave.

What Is A Cocktail?

You walk into a bar and see a lot of people there, all seemingly busy having good times. You ask the bartender what a cocktail is and he says, “No idea. Something alcoholic, I guess.” You tell him that you’re looking for something to eat and he suggests the lobster. You order one and as it gets put down in front of you, you notice that it’s in a ceramic bowl. You wonder what kind of lobster it is and then someone nearby say, “Don’t know, ask the chef.” You look around and see that everyone at the bar is having a good time. You smile and decide to join in. You raise your glass and say, “Cheers!” The bartender then says that they don’t serve lobster anymore and you ask him why not. He tells you that it’s because they ran out of money. You tell him that you’ll have the same and then he points to the lobster in the bowl in front of you and asks, “Is that all you’re going to have?” You tell him that it’s plenty and to go easy on the sauce. You start laughing and then someone behind you says, “Excuse me, sir. May I ask what is so funny?” You tell them that you’re not laughing at them, but instead at your situation. They then ask you what you’re doing there. You tell them that you’re just visiting the town and then the other patrons laugh as well. You finish your lobster and decide to leave. You tell the bartender that you’ll be back soon and as you get up to go, he says, “Hey, don’t forget about those cocktails you asked about earlier.” You tell him that you’ll try to remember and then step outside. When you return a few hours later, the bartender gives you a drink order and you decide to make a cocktail. You make a drink for each of the people you were with and give them all a sip. As they’re drinking, you tell them that you remembered the cocktails and then make another one.

What Is A Toilet?

You’re standing in a restroom when a woman walks in. She goes into the far corner and starts throwing up. You walk over to her and say, “Hey, can I help you with whatever you’re doing?” She looks at you and starts crying. She says that she needs to go to the bathroom and that it’s an emergency. You tell her that you’ll help her and then walk over to the sink, where there’s already a cup and a hand towel. You pour some water into the cup and hand it to her. As she starts walking towards the door, she says, “No, it’s not that. There’s someone inside of me that needs to come out. I’ve been having trouble for years.” You tell her that you understand and then she leaves.

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