Back in the day, when we needed proof that the ‘traditional values’ of masculinity and heterosexuality were under threat, we looked to the pill bottle. Now that the ‘back to normal’ pill has been introduced, it looks like the need for these ‘proving’ pills has diminished. What happened? Why do men now want to express love through jewellery and luxury accessories, rather than through brute force and sexual prowess?
Self-expression
Whether you call it ‘metrosexuality’ or ‘hipster masculinity’, men are now more interested in making a statement through their attire and grooming than they are in having loads of kids and settling down (note: these are all very popular and there are many ‘hipster’ men who fit this stereotype, but it is definitely a trend).
A few years ago, a study found that 66% of men were either extremely or very worried about the “future of heterosexual masculinity”, while only 24% were not worried at all. But since ‘pink’ has become a thing, and since then, many men have ‘gone native’ and adopted a more ‘metro’ or ‘hippy’ version of masculinity. It’s clear that the older generation still has a firm grip on what it means to be a ‘real man’, but perhaps not for long.
Sexual freedom
The pill has also provided us with a new term: ‘viagra guy’. What is a ‘viagra guy’? Essentially, we are talking about men who, for one reason or another, have no problem consuming ‘love drugs’ (also known as ‘erectile dysfunction drugs’ or ‘impotence drugs’). These men may have trouble climaxing during intercourse, or they may just not feel comfortable enough with their sexuality to engage in a traditional display of masculine prowess. If you fit this description, congratulations; the stigma associated with not being able to perform well sexually has been lifted! Better late than never, I suppose.
This is a massive shift in the way that men negotiate sexuality. Back in the day, if a man wanted to express love and adoration towards a woman, he had to either marry her, have lots of children with her, or both. No longer do we need to ‘prove’ our masculinity through actions alone. Just by showing up and looking good, we are good to go. In fact, some men even prefer to be called by their surnames, instead of their first names – a clear indication that they feel they do not need to ‘protect’ their masculinity by proving their manhood to the world. Women, too, are showing interest in this new type of masculinity, as 70% of millennial women now believe that a “good marriage involves exploring your sexuality in new ways”. Being “open to new experiences” and “acknowledging your feelings” are key tenets of the modern ‘girl’.
Less Violence
We have also seen a huge decline in violence against women. While domestic abuse and rape were considered ‘women’s issues’ a few decades ago, they are no longer seen in the same light. Social media has enabled survivors of domestic abuse to share their experiences, and many men have taken the opportunity to show that they are “standing up against the violence”. The more that men are able to express their feelings and vulnerabilities, the less violence will be tolerated in society. This development has undoubtedly contributed to the changing attitudes that we see today.
Empowerment
Men have always had a stronger desire to protect and provide for their families. But now that we have healthcare and the ability to work remotely, more and more men are able to take care of their families without being physically present. This has undoubtedly contributed to the changing attitudes that we see today.
Whether you believe that gender is a social construct, or whether you think that gender is determined by biology, there is no denying that the roles of ‘man’ and ‘woman’ have changed, and continue to change, as society evolves.