While there are still a lot of unknowns about COVID-19 and its effect on the sex drive of those that contract it, there are a few things we do know. Namely, that people will have altered sexual desires as a result of the pandemic. Whether this is out of fear of being infected or simply as a result of changed priorities in terms of daily life, it is certain that the line between romantic inter-course and romping has blurred. For those that enjoy sex and intimacy, this may be a great opportunity to explore your preferences as objectively as possible, without fear of judgement or taboo. We spoke to Dr Nikki Goldstein, a senior lecturer in medicine at the University of York, who specialises in sexual medicine about how to navigate this new world of potential post-pandemic sexual opportunities.
Adjusting To The New Normal
One of the first things Dr Goldstein told us about COVID-19 and its effect on sexual behaviour is that there is a wide variability in the way it will manifest itself. Some people could have mild or no symptoms at all, while others might experience far more serious repercussions. As a result, one of the most significant public health messages regarding the disease is that people need to be careful about reading too much into any one set of circumstances, and to not rush to judgement regarding their own personal experience with the disease. This is especially important for those that are sexually active, as they might assume that their risk of acquiring COVID-19 is higher than it really is due to a lack of protective measures. But we should also be careful about assuming that because someone is infected with COVID-19 that they therefore have deviant sexual desires, the opposite is completely true. It is extremely important to recognise that there could be multiple psychological, social and biological factors at play when it comes to any changes in a person’s sexual behaviour, and that one particular cause is typically not responsible for all of it. This is why it is best to approach each case individually and with a cautious optimism, rather than with preconceived notions or prejudices regarding what might be going on.
The Impact Of COVID-19 On The Overall Sex Drive
Another factor that influences our overall sex drive is how accessible it is. For most of us, the urge to procreate is incredibly strong, and it is only natural that we will want to indulge this desire as much as possible throughout the year. In a world where the demand for daily essentials far outstrips the supply, the drive to have more children to help prop up the supply lines is only understandable. The problem is that this highly-tuned biological imperative can cause us to make poor choices regarding the quality and quantity of the sex we have, all in the name of procreation. This is why it is essential that we remain attentive to our overall wellbeing and that we make thoughtful choices regarding the amount of intimacy we have with our partners and within our own families. In a world where safety and privacy have become nearly extinct, the urge to indulge in romping sessions is definitely understandable, but it might also be a cause for some concern. We have to be careful not to let our desire for intimacy and connection with others lead us into risks that we might otherwise avoid. The key is to have realistic expectations about the level of danger that we are facing and to develop solutions that will support us in coping with this new and unprecedented situation. For some, this might mean adjusting their sexual behaviour to reduce the risk of being infected with COVID-19, while for others it might mean finding new ways to engage with their partners that do not put them at risk of contracting the virus. In other words, now more than ever, it is essential that we remain calm, open-minded and optimistic.
How To Have Safe Sex
It is now well-established that people with pre-existing health conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes or high blood pressure, are at a considerably greater risk of severe illness from COVID-19, and that this is likely to be due to a combination of their underlying health problems and their age. People with these conditions should take special care regarding their hygiene and refrain from having intimate physical contact with others. Overnight stays in hotels and other types of group conferences are particularly risky as it is easy for the virus to spread within these settings. If someone in your entourage has tested positive for the virus and you are still planning on having sex, then you should certainly discuss this with your doctor and take appropriate measures to reduce your risk of infection. Otherwise, you are putting your partner at risk of being infected and, eventually, you will be too.
Changes In Relationship Dynamics
The way we engage with and love our partners changes as a result of the pandemic. For those that have been kept apart for so long by the constraints of social distancing, this might mean that they have developed feelings of admiration and even love towards those that they were previously indifferent to. This element of surprise could cause a blurring of the lines between love and respect, with many people considering themselves to be in a loving relationship with a person that they previously deemed to be inferior. These are some pretty powerful words coming from a man or woman you have never met and who lives thousands of miles away, but which you might encounter in the here-and-now via a video call or text message. What is clear is that the way we communicate will change as a result of this new circumstance, and what tools we have at our disposal to sustain strong, healthy relationships will also change. Having said that, one thing will not change, and that is the ability of two people in a committed, loving relationship to navigate this world together, undisturbed by its many complexities. This is as true today as it was before the pandemic swept across the globe, and it will continue to be true beyond this year’s extraordinary circumstances.
Navigating The Post-Pandemic World
Even as we speak, the numbers of cases and deaths due to COVID-19 are still rising and the number of known survivors falls. While there will undoubtedly be far-reaching, long-term consequences regarding this pandemic and its effect on our daily lives, as of now, it is fair to say that we have not yet recovered to our pre-pandemic level of intimacy and sexual activity. The most suitable and safest sex practices in terms of reducing the risk of COVID-19 are clearly delineated in Dr Goldstein’s article ‘Can You Have Sex With Viagra?’ and while this might seem like common sense, it is important to remember that this is something that has to be consciously implemented, rather than simply taken for granted. If you want to be sure that your safety is not compromised during this pandemic, then it is essential to become familiar with the most suitable, evidence-based and safe sex practices and to educate yourself about how to implement them. Then, when the world opens up again, and our ability to social distance returns, you will be better equipped to make considered decisions regarding your sexual behaviour and to implement these choices successfully. For now, the most prudent course of action is to reduce your contact with other people as much as possible, wash your hands frequently and, if you suspect that you are sick, seek medical assistance immediately, before it is too late.