Somewhere between 50% and 65% of men over the age of 40 are now affected by what is known as “erectile dysfunction” (ED). This is defined as the inability of a man to achieve or maintain sufficient erection for satisfactory sexual performance (1). As a result of this decline in ability, symptoms such as low self-esteem, lack of interest, and poor physical health may appear (2).
There are several known causes of this dysfunction. Many men experience it as a result of taking certain medications, especially those used to treat high blood pressure or heart disease. Diabetes, liver problems, and cancer can also cause ED (3). Psychological factors such as anxiety or depression may be major contributors to ED as well (4).
Given the above, it is not surprising that men with ED are often hesitant to tell their doctors about their problems. After all, if a man is found to be suffering from low blood pressure or a heart condition, he will likely be discouraged from having sex. Moreover, ED is not a disease that can be easily treated with medication (Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra are the most commonly prescribed drugs for ED). In these cases, the only recourse is to treat the cause of the problem.
The Impact of This Dysfunction
Whether a man is affected by mild, moderate, or severe ED, the consequences can be devastating. Consider the case of Jeff, a 43-year-old husband and father of two who is experiencing severe ED. Jeff is frustrated and embarrassed by the condition, finding it difficult to maintain an erection during sexual activity and to seek sexual pleasure when it occurs. Because of this, he avoids having sex with his wife, Kimberly, and even cheats on her with a mistress.
The impact of this on their marriage is significant. Jeff sees his inability to satisfy his wife as a personal failure and is deeply ashamed of it. Moreover, he feels depressed and disconnected from her and wonders whether or not she still loves him. In the absence of passionate, intimate sex, they both suffer and their marriage suffers as a result (5).
Of course, this is not the case for every man with ED. Indeed, in some instances, the problem is so minor that it can be readily solved with the right education and treatment. For example, consider the case of Jerry, a 51-year-old husband and father who has had very occasional ED with his previous partner. After learning about this condition and how to treat it effectively, he was able to have healthy, satisfying sex with his wife for the first time in many years. Because of this, she was very supportive of his decision to seek medical help and happily joined him in his quest for heightened sexual pleasure (6).
In other cases, such as Jeff’s, the problem is so severe that it causes a significant rift in the couple’s relationship. In this situation, couples or individual therapists may be able to help. In some cases, however, the problem is so severe that it causes a man to seek out sexual gratification elsewhere, risking his health and well-being (7).
Whether or not your partner enjoys sex as much as you do, you should both be committed to having as much of it as possible. This is especially true if you want to enjoy a healthy, satisfying sex life in retirement. In this instance, it is best to work together to address the issue of erectile dysfunction. As partners, you should both be willing to explore new ways of having intimate, satisfying sex. Moreover, if your partner is open to trying new things, he or she may very well engage with you in a way that is both healthy and pleasurable. In this way, you can both grow together and experience the love and companionship that come with age (8).
Treatments For Erectile Dysfunction
Fortunately, there are several treatments for erectile dysfunction. If you or your partner is experiencing mild to moderate ED, regular exercise, a healthy diet, and appropriate sleep may all be able to help. In these instances, medications such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra may be used to treat the condition. For severe cases, in which intercourse is nearly impossible, penile injections, implanted pumps, or a prosthesis may be needed (9).
Men who are concerned about the topic of erectile dysfunction should not feel bad about reaching out for help. Indeed, while there is no “quick fix” for this problem, there are several treatments that can provide significant relief. Moreover, because ED is so prevalent in middle-aged and older men, it is becoming an increasingly common problem that can be readily treated (10).
In cases where ED is caused by medication or other medical conditions, the treatment will often involve addressing the cause of the problem. For example, Jeff’s doctor may prescribe him an ED medication or he may put Jeff on a blood pressure medication to help improve his erections. As for Jeff’s marriage, he and his doctor may work together to find the root of the problem and address it accordingly (11).